*Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be the most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved?
I think that rigid complementarity would be the most difficult to change because it is a pattern where one person has to step up and do something different than they would normally do. This person begins to feel resentment towards the other person because he or she is frustrated with either always giving in or having to be in charge. Either way, this person is going to have to change a part or his or her personality, which is always hard. I think that this would be hard on a relationship because you would rather want to be the one who doesn’t have to change. In a relationship with a friend or significant other, you always want the other person to change and not yourself. This would become hard because it might cause a fight and it would definitely take a lot of time to actually accomplish.
I also think that rigid complementarity would be the most damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved because it would initially point out a negative area of his or her personality. This would affect them greatly because ultimately, they are going to have to change a part of their personality in order to continue to have a relationship with this person.
I have noticed this problem before with one of my best friends. I always had to be the one to make the important decisions that would directly affect both us. Either it ended up in a positive way or a negative but either way, it affected us and I was tired of being the one responsible. Overall, I eventually told my friend about the problem this was causing in our relationship, which began to cause some arguments. I didn’t necessarily want her to change her personality completely, I just wanted her to recognize that a relationship is a two way street and both of us had to the dirty work some of the time. In the end, it turned out to help that I said something, however I have noticed every once in a while that my friend gets frustrated still when it comes to decision making.
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1 comment:
Hello!
I agree with your bolg because I to said, rigid complementarity is most difficult to change. I like reading your personal example because my feeling about this term were very close to yours. I believe it is difficult to change this pattern because we start to get comfortable about the actions in a longterm relationship anywhere from a friend to a romantic partner. However, I felt that complementary pattern is more damaging to a persons self-esteem because there is no balance in the relationship which allows not positive growth for both parties. Either way I believe all three patterns would be difficult to change once they are started in a relationship unless both parties want a change.
Hope you had a GREAT weekend!
Thanks,
Blondie
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